Non-lesbian Sweethearts

“God!  Don’t sit so close!” she whispers.

“Oh my God, Megan, what’s your problem?  Are you really going to make a big deal out of this again?”

Megan gets up and moves two seats away from Ashley,  takes a quick look around, and leans over so that no one can hear.

“I’m sorry, but I just don’t want anyone to think we’re…” and  she mouths “Lesbians!!”

“I’m sorry, Megan, but that’s really retarded of you.  This place is going to be totally packed for Valentine’s Day, and who cares?”

For a moment their eyes lock, an internal battle of wills is raging.  Exasperated and defeated once again, Megan moves to the seat right next to Ashley.  “Fine!  You freakin lesbian!  I suppose you want to make out, too?”

“As if!” replies Ashley, “I mean, whatever, you’re my best friend, and this is like our little tradition, or whatever.   I thinks it’s kind of cool, and you know it kind of hurts my feelings that you don’t like to sit by me.”

Ashley looks ahead at the screen and settles in to watch the coming attractions.  The matter is settled.  She is left to ponder the absurdity of this annual dispute.

Megan and Ashley had been going out for dinner and  a movie on Valentine’s Day since high school.  No guy had or would ever change that as far as they were concerned.  Theirs was a friendship to last a lifetime, and it started on a Valentine’s Day.

Senior year, Valentine’s Day, movie theater.  Megan and Ashley ran in different crowds.   Megan was a cheerleader and liked to hang out with the jocks.  Ashley was on the debate team and ran with the more academic crowd.  Both beautiful, both popular, both had dates on Valentine’s day;  Megan with the captain of the football team and Ashley with the former captain of the debate team (she was the captain this year).  And BOTH had been stood up.

Both stood  in the cold in front of the theater, leaving messages on their dates’ voicemails.  And then both girls, stood cursing the boys.

Then Megan, really just speaking to herself, said “What a fucking asshole!  He doesn’t even pick me up for the freakin date?!  And then he doesn’t fucking show?  Are you serious?”

Ashley, hearing Megan as clear as the cold February air, responded to her, “Oh my God, what an asshole!”  And friendship is born.

“I KNOW!!!  Fuck them!  We should totally see this movie together, I mean…unless…”

“Yeah, no, I’m pretty sure he’s not coming.”

“My treat!” proclaimed Megan with an air of triumph, “I’m totally going to take you out on a Valentine’s date.  Let’s get dinner and then see this stupid movie!”

Ashley loved Megan for that.  She’d never been stood up, and she was listing all the possible reasons why a boy would treat her this way.

Ashley had never really hung out with the cheerleader type before.  Their friendship was just as unlikely as it was for them to have been stood up on Valentine’s day together,  but she liked this girl.  They shared a bond now.

“Deal!” Ashley agreed, and she sealed it with a handshake.

“Ok, but no goodnight kiss,” kidded, Megan, pulling her hand away.

They formed a pact that night.  And now, ten years later, here they sit, waiting for another Valentine’s Day movie.

“So, how did Cooper handle not being able to take you out?” asks Megan.

“He was a little hurt, but he never had a choice in the matter.  I told him that you were my non-lesbian sweetheart  and that if he had a problem with that, then he was going to have a problem with ME.”

And with that, Megan grabs  Ashley’s hand, kisses it, and even holds it for nearly half of movie preview.


About davidwburns

I like to write. I have a job. This is a flash bio. View all posts by davidwburns

7 responses to “Non-lesbian Sweethearts

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